I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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