Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
