I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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