why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
