sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
