guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
