I think scott just propositioned me for sex
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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