Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
