Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Sorry about my life...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
