ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
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i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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