Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
