I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
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Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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