i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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