She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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