Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
