I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
