Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
