Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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