Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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