He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
