Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
