I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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