as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
