Pants 0. Shit 1.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
