So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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