she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
