I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
