she looked like the bat from fern gully.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
