16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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