my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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