: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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