he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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