I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
