plz talk dirty to me
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
