I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
