i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
