we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
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Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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