I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
