yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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