I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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