no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
