This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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