I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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