I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
