are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
