I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
