This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
