Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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