Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
