We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
