Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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