Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize