Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
