Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
