you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ambien. No doubt about it.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
