Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"

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  (205): it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!" http://tfl.nu/6ypb
  Replies (14) Good night (2445) Bad night (743)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  My balls are so social today.

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  (540): My balls are so social today. http://tfl.nu/wyah
  Replies (8) Good night (4161) Bad night (672)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.

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  (612): three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left. http://tfl.nu/3pzj
  Replies (9) Good night (7653) Bad night (827)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.

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  (778): We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay. http://tfl.nu/xs17
  Replies (16) Good night (1628) Bad night (2954)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship

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  (586): and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship http://tfl.nu/q3ik
  Replies (3) Good night (2623) Bad night (997)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.

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  (914): I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed. http://tfl.nu/j5xb
  Replies (6) Good night (1506) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.

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  (404): I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks. http://tfl.nu/r45q
  Replies (20) Good night (3709) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.

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  (843): Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco. http://tfl.nu/7zc7
  Replies (6) Good night (1105) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.

  (231): View more from Michigan

  He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up

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  (231): That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him. (231): He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up http://tfl.nu/uzdn
  Replies (3) Good night (754) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed

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  (918): I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed http://tfl.nu/e5rt
  Replies (2) Good night (384) Bad night (543)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable

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  (630): I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable http://tfl.nu/z2xr
  Replies (1) Good night (328) Bad night (603)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  So much rum. So many feels.

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  (360): So much rum. So many feels. http://tfl.nu/mt6s
  Replies (0) Good night (654) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"

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  (404): No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party" http://tfl.nu/5res
  Replies (5) Good night (1097) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?

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  (650): I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened? http://tfl.nu/cgg7
  Replies (3) Good night (611) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Typical.

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  (314): I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus. (636): Typical. http://tfl.nu/yc0f
  Replies (6) Good night (625) Bad night (330)

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