Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school

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(304): they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school http://tfl.nu/joeo

Replies (19) Good night (4061) Bad night (693)
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(559): View more from California

With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.

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(559): With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake. http://tfl.nu/no1z

Replies (6) Good night (3309) Bad night (654)
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(614): View more from Ohio

We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.

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(614): We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams. http://tfl.nu/ox7r

Replies (47) Good night (10680) Bad night (741)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.

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(608): The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer. http://tfl.nu/u1k3

Replies (17) Good night (9586) Bad night (1244)
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(817): View more from Texas

I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death

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(817): I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death http://tfl.nu/7rv2

Replies (9) Good night (2891) Bad night (1152)
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(713): View more from Texas

I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.

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(713): I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells. http://tfl.nu/5vl5

Replies (10) Good night (1955) Bad night (820)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.

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(412): I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent. http://tfl.nu/3146

Replies (20) Good night (2249) Bad night (857)
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(303): View more from Colorado

well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair

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(303): well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair http://tfl.nu/spf3

Replies (3) Good night (1191) Bad night (495)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.

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(336): Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army. http://tfl.nu/tv7a

Replies (11) Good night (891) Bad night (792)
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(559): View more from California

His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY

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(559): His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY http://tfl.nu/rsnd

Replies (1) Good night (787) Bad night (362)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."

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(608): I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory." http://tfl.nu/0nol

Replies (7) Good night (2400) Bad night (452)
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(727): View more from Florida

This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus

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(727): This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus http://tfl.nu/9e56

Replies (8) Good night (749) Bad night (268)
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(585): View more from New York

pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.

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(585): pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable. http://tfl.nu/657k

Replies (0) Good night (555) Bad night (206)
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(310): View more from California

Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.

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(310): Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure. http://tfl.nu/ptmp

Replies (2) Good night (581) Bad night (253)
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(410): View more from Maryland

For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"

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(410): For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?" http://tfl.nu/u1ni

Replies (5) Good night (1000) Bad night (216)

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