so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
