The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"