Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Is Oprah even human
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"