I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?