He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I have tasted many bathrooms
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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