it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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