That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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