I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
