I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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