what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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