no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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