i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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