It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
