Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
