i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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