He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
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