Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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